Christmas is where nice clothes go to die. Nobody talks about it, but December 25th is the most difficult of days to dress for. Besides getting a long haul flight (how is it that everything you own is so damn uncomfortable?), Christmas is the worst. Here are some tips.
Dodging Aqueous Cuisine
What youâll find when attempting to dress somewhat nicely on the day itself, is that you canât. One of the main reasons for this is gravy. Gravy is âa sauce made by mixing the fat and juices exuded by meat during cooking with stock and other ingredients.â
It is also the reason why mum shouts at you if you even dare to sidle downstairs wearing something cream, beige or, God forbid, white. Of course, mum is probably right.
Chrismas Day is absolutely filled with incredibly messy foods in the same way that a typical day in the Fashion Week calendar isnât. If you start out with a nice white shirt, by the Queenâs Speech, youâll be accessorising with a mint sauce collar and Quality Street pinstripes.
What weâre saying is, donât go neutral up-top.
Ouchy Shoes
One of the best things about Christmas Day is that many of us will be inside for the entire 24 hour cycle.
This means that â no matter what the weather condition â heels are a go-er. Even those deadly heels that you bought because they are oh-so pretty, but that you can literally not walk down the street in without looking like the HONDA Asimo robot.
Werk them: youâve got no walking to do.
Sequins
How many times a year is it not totally weird to wear a sparkly item of clothing to the dinner table?
Unless youâre Mariah Carey or Louie Spence, then the answer is probably one, and that day is of course December 25th.
Everyone knows that the Three Kings probably wore sequinned dresses punctuated by stars the birth of Jesus and if any of your relatives pooh-pooh at your ostentatious choice of dress then you can tell them that from us.
Food Baby
We no longer live in a time when whale-bone corsets are pre-requisites of being a female, though the same predicaments often face us.
If youâre thinking of wearing something with a nipped-in waist, then for Godâs sake, donât have that fifth helping of Christmas Pudding. It might be a good idea at the time, but nothing is more uncomfortable than the wiring of your jumpsuit attempting open bowel surgery.
Keep sizing in mind when dressing for the day, because you might look amazing in that tight dress on a night where nothing but vodka is consumed, but you sure as hell wonât look the same after nine courses of Grandmaâs cooking.
Who Are You Trying To Impress?
Because it canât be anyone more than your husband or boyfriend, and are they really going to be kitted out in full Tom Ford? No. When in doubt, pyjamas.
